


Hangry

by dreamingofazriel



Category: ACOMAF - Fandom, ACOTAR, acowar - Fandom
Genre: Sarah J Maas, sjm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12698889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingofazriel/pseuds/dreamingofazriel
Summary: Premise:  The Inner Circle is getting frustrated with Amren and her hangry ways.  They’ve taken it upon themselves to each induvial take Amren out to eat to see what she'll eat.For some reason Amren mused the entire Night Court (NC) had decided to treat her to a meal, alone.  They seemed to fail to realize that she had been alive for millennia.  Amren didn’t think she needed an education on food, fine dining, and steakhouses but apparently, she needed it.  So Amren decided not to kill them or attempt to drink their blood.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All Characters belong to Sarah J Maas.
> 
> This for all the people like me that don't eat poultry.

Amren’s first dinner was with Rhysand, who didn’t take her out at all, but decided to order everyone else away. There were many curses and vulgar gestures received and given before they flew or winnowed away from the House of Wind. 

They sat across from each other smirking, “Well my dear Amren, I thought I’d go easy on you.”

“When have I ever needed to be coddled Rhysand?”

“Never, but I don’t want you throwing up either. So, I present (he snapped his fingers) grilled chicken breast, with a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and…”

“I know what vegetables are Rhys” she was really starting to get annoyed.

“Well this is rice and”

“Rhysand! We have eaten together routinely for hundreds of years. I know the names of these foods.”

Rhys held his hands up in an I’m backing off gesture, and sat down and shut up.

Amren gave him a weary look but cut a piece of chicken. She put it in her mouth and chewed and immediately threw up. Then Amren threw the chicken at Rhys’ head. He wasn’t quick enough to shield either.

Amren stood and stomped to Rhysand and picked up his chicken. “Taste this! Or are you trying to poison me? Is your dog here? Is he trying to kill me with this filth?”

Rhys looked shocked but then he started laughing, “Why, sweet Amren, would I dare to poison you?”

“Taste that, that thing” she spluttered.

“It’s chicken” he responded flatly.

“That is no chicken Rhysand. I’ve hunted these chickens and tasted their blood. This does not taste like any chicken that I’ve ever had.”

Rhysand gave Amren a bemused look, “you’ve hunted chickens?”

“I had to find a butcher to drain the blood for me” she shrugged “it’s the same thing.”

“It really isn’t.”  
“Taste it!”

Rhysand took a huge bite and said, “it tastes like chicken.”

Amren wanted to scream her disgust as she remembered all the times she’d sat around the dinner table saying “Oh Amren, I wish could taste this. The chicken is amazing.”

Rhysand pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket, “Just for trying, here’s your prize.”

“I’m not a child Rhysand.”

“No, but many children are picky eaters and you are new to eating.”

Amren ripped the box from Rhys’ hand. In it was a diamond brooch. It was in the shape of a chicken.

“It was to commiserate our first meal.” Obviously, Rhys was trying not to laugh.  
Amren picked up the chicken and well, it was shiny, and it threw rainbows in the fractured light.

“You tell them I expect a trinket from each of them. A welcome to the world of digesting disgusting food.”

“And an aversion to poultry.” 

“That too.” Amren winnowed away to her apartment without another word to Rhys. She might still be hungry, but she was richer.

Mor was more successful. 

“So, I thought we’d have drinks first and then some appetizers or maybe just desserts” Mor said cheerfully. Amren knew Mor was leading her to Rita’s. Was this the only place in Velaris that Mor knew about?

“Okay, let’s get you started with a Bloody Mary” Mor’s lips twitched, as did Rita’s as she winked at Amren.

Mor explained, “Well its red and thickish. But it does have alcohol in it. Oh, but the best part is that it comes with a healthy vegetable.” Rita placed the green stick into Amren’s drink. “That is a celery stick.”

Amren thought she might hit Mor with this celery stick (she knew what celery was), but they were both watching her intently. Amren took a small sip, she didn’t want another chicken incident. Mother’s tits it was good. She smiled at Mor and Rita with shiny red teeth.

“I didn’t know you could blend the blood out a vegetable.” Amren pulled a long drink from the straw, it was so good. Then she bit the celery. That was horrible. She threw the stalk at Mor’s head, she was too slow to shield.

“What the hell Amren?”

“It tasted like chicken.”

“It tastes nothing like chicken.”

“It is not nearly as good as vegetable blood.”

“That’s not actually blood” Rita said.

“Just let me enjoy this” replied Amren. Then she turned to Mor, “This was a success. I shall live off Bloody Marys. Now give me my jewels.”

“But Amren this isn’t food, its alcohol. You’d just be drunk all day.”

“My jewels Morrighan.”

“Fine Amren. You’re no fun. Don’t you want to try some other food and drinks?”

“Jewels. Now.”

Mor rolled her eyes and handed Amren a black diamond tennis bracelet. 

“Now this, this I like” she nodded at Mor. “Rita I’ll take a gallon of Bloody Mary to go, hold the celery.”

 

Feyre took Amren to breakfast. Amren sat and immediately ordered a Bloody Mary. Feyre sat next to Amren. The entire restaurant was like a palette of paint.

“Before you try to kill me and everyone in the restaurant, I’m letting you know that I thought it would be fun to blindfold you” Feyre said with a smile. Of, course she did. Couldn’t Feyre keep her and Rhysand bedroom games out of their meals?

“That way you can enjoy the taste of the food without any bias” Feyre finished.

Amren gave her a are you fucking kidding me look. In which Feyre gave her a don’t make me use my High Lady voice on you and force you to eat.

“Fine.”

Feyre waved over an attendant. One blindfolded Amren and the other placed a plate down in front of her. It smelled, gross. She heard Feyre puncture something with her fork and gave it to Amren. It was crunchy and salty, but tolerable.

“Just tell me yes or no and at the end I’ll have a plate filled with all the things you like. Is this a yes or no?”

“It’s alright.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Feyre handed her the next item. It was small, round, and had a smooth skin. When Amren bit into it held juices that reminded her of all the wine Mor consumed.

“Is this wine in a tiny ball? It reminds me of Mor.”

Feyre chuckled, “No. But I am going assume that’s a yes.”

“Yes.”

“Here you go!” Feyre placed a fork in her hand.

It was light, fluffy, and it smelled like poultry. Amren spit it out and ripped off the blindfold. She took her Bloody Mary and threw the fluffy yellow mess at Feyre, who was too slow to shield.

“What the hell Amren?” her High Lady bellowed.

“Did Rhysand tell you to feed me that?”

“No! Of course not.”

“I said no chicken.”

“But it’s an egg. It’s not a chicken breast or leg. Besides you must use eggs to cook, eggs are in everything.” Feyre looked truly frustrated, “Look, I thought if you had chicken in a different form you might like it.”

“You thought wrong” Amren held out her hand for her jewelry.  
“Amren, come on, you ate the crispy bacon and the grapes.”

“I will live off Bloody Marys, crispy bacon, and grapes. Jewelry now.”

Feyre handed over a silver and sapphire ring. Amren snatched it away and put it on her middle finger. A perfect fit.

“Bacon and grapes to go” Amren shouted at no one.

“You have to ask for it to be made crispy, otherwise its limp” Feyre said. 

“Crispy bacon, grapes, and a Bloody Mary to go” again shouting at no one. 

Amren looked at Feyre, “Crispy, huh? I assumed that since you were with Rhys that you like limp things in your mouth.” Amren winnowed away before Feyre could hit her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Sarah J Maas.

Elain was next, and she was the one that Amren was dreading the most. The girl was flighty and always lost in visions or surrounded by a garden. She smelled like dirt. Azriel said she smelled like honey, lilacs, and spun sugar. Amren decided he was wrong.

Elain looked nervous, but she was chatty. She didn’t say a bad word about anyone. Elain exuded goodness to the point that it was revolting. The Inner Circle really needed to work on corrupting Elain.

“We’re here!” Everything Elain said sounded excited.

“Where is here?”

“Look!”

“It’s a chocolate shop.”

“Chocolate. I heard this was good. 

“We’re going to be dipping food into a chocolate fountain.”

“Sure.” Amren followed Mary fucking sunshine into the back of the shop where a little table was set up with strawberries, oranges, cherries, and bananas on sticks.

“Just fruit, no meat. I ordered us the milk chocolate because it’s the sweetest.” Elain dipped her finger in the fountain and then into her mouth.

“Try it Amren” so she did, and it was fabulous. Everything Elain offered was amazing. Maybe she had misjudged the girl. Maybe Elain wasn’t annoying but goodness guru. This chocolate was sinfully good.

At the end of their meal Elain presented Amren with a chocolate egg. Maybe Amren had been right the first time.

“Are you joking?”

“What do you mean Amren?”

“An egg. A chicken egg.”

“No! It’s a chocolate egg, and before you throw it, its hollow inside and holds your jewelry.”

Amren glared at her and ripped into the chocolate egg. She threw a piece at Elain’s head, who was too slow to shield. But inside the horrid egg lay a set of ruby earrings. They matched the necklace Varian had given her perfectly. Amren didn’t say anything.

“Do you not like it?” Elain whispered apprehensively.

“Quite the opposite Elain” she gave the girl a real and genuine smile. “Now have the chocolate on a stick brought to me at my apartment.”

“Do you mean the fountain and the fruit on a stick?”

“Chocolate on sticks Elain.” Amren winnowed away.

Azriel and Amren sat in a secluded booth with low lighting. Fae passed by them playing music and selling roses.

“What the hell is this?” Amren asked.

“Cassian said everyone picked a restaurant out of a hat. He gave me this one. I told him it’s a romantic restaurant, more appropriate for a date. I told him it wasn’t for us.”

“Why do you listen to that moron?”

“Half the time he’s right.”

“Half the time he is wrong” replied Amren.

“Let’s think about this dog. Half the time you want to kill me. Why would you bring me to a roman…”

Claps and cheers interrupted her again. This was the second time tonight someone had gotten engaged.  
“Can we just go get a beer?” Azriel asked.

“Do they have Bloody Marys?”

“Yes, and chilli cheese fries. They might be too messy for that dress though.”

They stood and Azriel hand her a long silver, no white gold chain with a single black pearl on it. Amren’s eyes sparkled at the pearl.

“Amren, I don’t want to kill you.”

Amren hurled a drink in his face. Azriel was too slow to shield.

“Seriously?”

“You made my eyes leak.” Azriel smiled at her, “take me to the bar shadowsinger.”

 

Cassian was Cassian. He took Amren to a steakhouse that had sawdust on the floor, giant napkin stacks in the middle of the table, and there were forks, and giant carving knives embedded in the table. The place was filled with Illyrians.

“So, they have a lot of microbrews here,” Cassian started to say.

“I’ll have a Bloody Mary.”

“They only serve beer.”

Amren leveled a look at Cassian. Before Amren had went into the cauldron the look she was giving him would have at least made him nervous, now he thought her endearing. 

Cassian laughed, “you’re so cute when you get mad now Amren.”

She glowered at him, but Cassian ordered her an extra rare steak and his medium well. Cassian looked a little nauseous as Amren took a bite of the meat. Some of the animal’s blood ran down her chin.

“Now this is good” Amren said with a smile.

“I think it’s still mooing.”

“Amren pricked her ears, “I don’t hear anything.”

Cassian laughed. “It’s an expression. It means your meat is so rare its raw. Like you cut it outside and didn’t attempt to cook it you just bit in. You have blood on your chin by the way.” Cassian shuttered.

“I thought The Bone Carver called you The Lord of Bloodshed?”

Cassian straightened, “he did.”

“And you’re the General of Rhys’ armies.”

“I am.”

“Yet me eating a rare steak makes you queasy.”

“Its gross.”

Amren picked up the steak and wrung it out like a dishtowel. Then she tossed the bloody juices at Cassian so fast he couldn’t shield. He began making these horrendous noises. Cauldron, he was going to throw up.

“My jewelry” she cried out as Cassian jumped up. He tossed he a black velvet box as he ran to the facilities. Amren winnowed to her apartment. Inside was a pin with an enamel cow on it. There was not one precious stone. Oh, he thought he was funny.

Cassian opened his door the next morning to find Amren there with a box of raw steaks. She threw them at him, he wasn’t quick enough to shield.

“I said jewelry moron.”  
Nesta had Amren meet her at a local coffee house. Nesta led her to the outdoor seating, where she had two hazelnut lattes with soy and two croissants delivered.

“This is it?”

 

“This is it” said Nesta tossing Amren a newspaper. Amren threw it right back but Nesta didn’t bother to shield, no she caught it and threw it right back at Amren’s head. Amren wasn’t quick enough to shield.

“Eat that, drink that, and read that. I can’t function without my coffee” Nesta said, putting Amren right in her place.

They sat in a nice contented silence. After Nesta’s second cup of coffee she handed Amren two boxes. “I made Cassian buy you another gift.”

Amren smiled, “I knew I liked you.” Amren opened the black box. It held a single black diamond, cut and polished perfectly. It was as big as a, damn it, chicken egg.

Nesta pushed the red box her way. It held a turquoise and sea glass bracelet. “I know it’s not a precious stone, but it will look good on you whenever you’re in the Summer Court.”

“Everything looks good on me” Amren said with a smile. “Thank you.” 

“Oh, and I ordered this” Nesta said with a coy smile, looking behind Amren.

Varian was walking down the street towards them. Nesta gave Amren an envelope for a play tomorrow night. “I figured you be busy tonight.”

Nesta gave Varian a clasp on the shoulder before walking away. “Have fun” she said, right before she winnowed away.

Amren stood on her chair and kissed Varian. “This was really nice of Nesta” Varian commented.

“I think” said Amren “she is my best friend. She knew exactly what to get me.”


End file.
